You are my inspiration

Lori,

There are some things that I have wanted to say to you recently. I guess finishing your Social Security application helped me to decide that now was the time to speak.

We have been through a lot together, especially in the past couple of years.

One of the biggest things that happened was we bought our house! The exact house we asked for. Add some new furniture, some paint, a few walls and soffits here and there, and a whole bunch of DVDs (lol) and voila, you worked your magic and turned a “very nice house” into our home. One room at a time we played “the game” until we finally found what we were looking for. Thank you. Just a couple of rooms to go! (Then we can start over).

We witnessed the graduation of all three of our boys. How proud are you?! Last year we watched R & J walk across the stage with honors. Then spent the summer getting them set up in their new apartment (remember the duck pool?) This year we got to watch Mike grow and change like there was no tomorrow. To start college before he even graduated high school was quite ambitious for him. His decision to stay at home this summer to “help out” still chokes me up. Thank you for your guidance in raising three happy, well adjusted, smart, and good young men.

On a more somber note, we lost one of our best friends, Mackenzie. While she will always be with us we miss her every day by all of us (and nearly every minute by me). I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there to help me get through it. Thank you.

Our lives have changed so much in the past year and a half. The biggest change unfortunately has been your health. I watched you every day struggle to just get to work, just taking a shower, just to go to the bank by yourself, just to cook dinner, or maybe just to clean up from dinner.

I started driving you to work so you could save the extra 50 paces to get from the parking lot to the building. Once at work, no matter how tired or sick you were, you became everybody’s sunshine. Simply walking into a room and smiling would brighten it up. You touched everybody you worked with in ways that will be with them forever. You got so much pleasure from doing your job, and doing it better than anyone else ever has. I know it really ate you up inside as you got worse and you started missing days. You never let on how sick you were until you just couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. I know you miss all of your friends very much as I’m sure they miss you.

So – with all of that said – here is what I started of wanting to say. You are my inspiration.

You showed such strength at work. Spending every ounce of energy there and then coming home to recharge. When recharging stopped working, you came up with other ways to give them everything you had. You never complained and always, as I said earlier, were the bright spot in the room. You sat and listened to everyone else’s problems never letting on about your own. You were a true blessing at the Spa.

While at home you realized you limitations and, again, never complained. I know you would have like to have gone to more of Mike’s football games or competitions but just couldn’t. When we got home, no matter how late it was, you would be up waiting with your room lighting smile asking how it went. “Where you going Mike – tell me about it” is usually how it went. I also remember you getting schlubbed around during Ricky & Jason’s orientation at USF. Could it have been any hotter? It took everything you had just to make it through the day. Again, nothing but smiles.

I could go on for hours giving examples of how you hide how sick you are when you feel a need to, but I wont. I will say that there hasn’t been a family gathering in the past three years that you didn’t amaze me with your determination to get through without letting on how tired you were.

I have never, nor will I ever meet a person who is stronger, more giving, caring, or positive than you. You ALWAYS put the other person’s feelings before yours, no matter how bad you feel and truly do give till it hurts.

The sound of your laugh and the way your eyes light up when one of your boys comes home always warms my heart. The way you laugh at Lucy or sit and try to name your squirrels is a constant reminder of your strength and positive attitude. Please know this, all that I am I am because of you and all that I have I have to give to you. Together we will make it through whatever the future has in store for us and come out stronger than ever.

Zub